Talking on LBC with Shelagh

Conversations turn to discussions, then turn into toxic rubbish. People, when they are challenged to face up to their own fear, blame others for that fear.

How many of us are willing to look deep within to discover the genesis of their pain and fear? Due to me being trans woman, I faced some awful abuse and bullying over many decades. Not because I was trans, but for who I am. I shined a very big and bright light on people and became a very reflective mirror for them so their fears and pain became intolerable.

I was told by my boss in the 1970s, that I had to accept the idiosyncrasies of the design engineers, but they didn’t have to accept mine. If anything told me I was worthless, that comment was a pinnacle.

When people are challenged on a topic they don’t understand, but think they do, they rise to defend the indefensible. The opposite viewpoint rises to equal that energy. The result is that no one listens to the other, believing their own side has the right to be right, and the other side, wrong. I talk about this to Shelagh.

Shelagh talked about an experience she had on a train where a person got angry at her because she called that person a guy. In fact, this person was a trans woman. Shelagh spent some time defending her position, probably through the guilt she felt of saying something that another person thought as offensive. Shelagh is not an offensive person. Just someone who doesn’t understand fully the trigger that her comment made for that trans woman.

I have managed to release the effect of triggers. Yes, I still get them, but the triggers are usually about politics and the sheer stupidity of some politicians who behave appallingly and without compassion. Many people spend time in the shallow end of the pool where their feet can touch the floor. I prefer to spend time at the deep end of the pool so I can discover so much more about me as a human being. It’s called self awareness. Or awareness of Self.

Thanks to Shelagh and LBC for the opportunity to talk.

2nd April 2024