Change is probably the most powerful force in our Universe, for without it there would be no evolution. It may seem something of a paradox but change is the only constant.
Change is the energy that propels us to move forward through our chosen tasks and lessons we have elected to deal with during this current incarnation. Most people, in fact all of us at some time or another, fight this change because it means we have to move into areas we do not understand or know very little about.
Fear is the motivator that prevents us from reacting to this change favourably. We resist change because it prompts us to look at ourselves more closely, probably more closely than ever before. The events that challenge us are designed to make us stare at our most difficult emotions, and usually this is anger.
Even though we may be in some pain and discomfort about the situation we find ourselves in, it is familiar. We take that familiarity as comfort, for we know it and, in some way, may understand it. For staying where we are, we believe, is the easy option, is the path of least resistance. Why would anyone choose to move from their comfort zone to a place that represents the unknown? Is it really easier to deal with the familiarity of our constant pain and of staying where we are? We believe that the future is made up of those events and experiences we have had in the past and we believe that is all we will experience again. Why? Fear of the unknown is why. The choice of travelling into the unknown, the mysterious, the undefined, the future uncertain, is definitely a difficult one to make but one that is, without doubt, the right one. The future may be vague and indefinable but is not cast in stone, we make of it what we will.
For me, this is exactly what happened. From the moment I was aware of my surroundings and those I came into contact with, I resisted with every ounce of my energy all those things that I perceived as difficult or would mean I had to change. I would work around all the problems that confronted me rather than face them. Eventually, I became very successful with this approach and continued life in this way until that fateful year.
In 1994 I attended three family funerals, I was made redundant from my job of 20 years, and my wife left to live with another. This, all in the space of seven very short months. These events, for me, were unpreventable and impossible to work around. I simply had to face them, like it or not. The Universe had prompted me to look at myself and the anger I had suppressed all those years. It was not an easy journey, but it had to be done. If we continue to ignore the call for change, eventually the Universe will decide for us and throw us into situations so dramatic that we simply cannot ignore them.
The effect of these events transformed the view I had of myself and of those people around me. I learnt from these experiences that it is better, and easier, to go through instead of around. Going through these situations has given me an enlightenment that I would not have had otherwise. Going through is a choice, facing the challenge is a choice. It is about having the faith that the situation will change for the better.
I have since realised that the situation itself does not change initially, it is our perception of it that does. Once our perception is altered or shifted, the situation redefines itself into a manageable position and then sometimes vanishes. These shifts in awareness are sometimes so subtle that it is difficult to determine that any transformation has actually occurred. The only way to really tell if something has changed is to gauge your reaction to the same event. Does it cause a large reaction or small one?
Before, when someone slurped their drink, my anger rose quickly to the surface but without me really knowing why. After a lot of work on my self image and self esteem, I was able to see the connection between these two situations. Discovering the cause was a revelation. I had attached a bad habit of my father to a particularly traumatic time in my life where I felt useless and worthless. That simple trigger generated anger that was hard to control and diffuse. Unbeknown to me it was simply reminding me of that difficult time. What the biggest surprise was, was that I hadn’t realised the effectiveness of the emotional work I had done until someone slurped their drink. It hardly caused a whimper.