The cause and effect scenario is so powerful that it plays a very large part in our developing emotional and mental view of the world. If we, as a child, were to do an action which was received favourably by our mentors, we learn that this action is one that should be repeated. If however, our action is received adversely we learn not to repeat this action again, leading to further synaptic pathways becoming strengthened, while some wither away, leaving a pattern which tends to negatively colour our perception of ourselves and those around us.
If we wish to express ourselves in a particular way, and society dictates that we cannot, we suppress it, hiding it from others, and sometimes from ourselves. The synaptic pathways developed by these traumas lie in wait until prompted to rise to the surface at the most inopportune moment. These are what I will term programmed responses. What rises is usually pain and anger. Pain and anger do not decompose when they are buried, they merely fester and change. They gradually alter and attach themselves to other issues, so concealing their original cause. This creates confusion as to why we are so angry about such a trivial thing.
As we grow into adulthood building our belief systems along the way, we may find that our beliefs contradict those that society wishes to protect. We may find that some part of our nature cannot find expression in society’s arbitrary limits – society being the country in which you live. Whatever these boundary’s are based on, be it gender, religion or skin colour etc, etc, these are still arbitrary and can change over time.
I am sure that you will remember feeling a surge of anger when a person does or says something. This feeling rises from deep within your psyche and seems to have no origin. You feel the intensity but are uncertain why. It certainly does not come from the person, for they were merely the trigger for that anger to come to the surface. The anger is simply a reminder of what was, and rises to the surface due to the programmed response. These synaptic pathways were formed during our formative years through events long forgotten, the action and reaction deeply rooted within the recesses of our mind.
People strive to maintain their surroundings to prevent the changes happening. People strive to control others because they are fearful of looking at the inner traumas and insecurities, because these bring anger to the surface. People control because it is easier to control their environment rather than to look at their insecurities and intense feelings.
As we grow, we are nurtured by our parents, peers and teachers into the wise adults we are today. Over the passing of years, we have effectively been programmed by those around us to believe certain concepts that are usually not ours. Our actions cause reactions in others who then strive to limit our ability to function because of their own feelings about how they were raised. Their programmed ideas are passed on to others, thereby contaminating the generations with outdated philosophies that can no longer be viable in today’s environment.
My anger rose when someone slurped their drink. Apart from slurping being the height of rudeness, I had no idea why I was getting angry. I made every effort to make sure that no one slurped their drinks. By controlling, I was striving to maintain my environment, thus preventing myself from looking at that which caused the anger. I was unwilling to move from the point I had reached. In a way, I was attempting to avoid changes in my life. Change is the only constant in the Universe, so I had taken on the Universe.
After looking deeply into my situation, and with the help of several therapists, I discovered that my father had slurped his drinks. He had done this all his life but with my attachment to it, it became the cause of disharmony during a particularly difficult time in my life. The slurping had become the trigger for all my feelings of inadequacy to surface.
The size of the trigger is immaterial. It can be the most inconsequential thing but still has the energy to place one’s deepest fears in front of us. Remember that during our lifetime we have chosen to experience certain events, events that will bring us closer to the Source. The willingness to look at our fears is the way to dissolve those fears.
When we talk to people, occasionally we feel that that person has a dislike for us due to what was said or not said. It could even be a solitary look. Our view of a persons view of us is coloured by our view of ourselves. We interpret a word said with the meaning we place on this word and not the meaning that the other person places on it. To reiterate, we give all meaning to all we see around us.