Written During 1994

The Other Side of the Fence

The grass is greener
On the other side of the fence
But is it cleaner?
On the other side of the fence

The experience I find
Is a considerable wrench
To climb over
To the other side of the fence

But when I get there
All I find is a nasty stench
I thinks I’ll go back
To the other side of the fence

On my return
Something has changed
Both sides are the same
So what shall I do?

I know, I’ll sit on the fence.

25 May 1994 (my first ever poem)

Sitting on a Park Bench

Sitting on a park bench
is now all I can do
Employment has gone
my ego with it too.

CVs I write many
replies are too few
It is now time to look
for some pastures new.

A journey transpires
for me to endure
and suffer some pain
to become whole again.

10 June 1994

The Simple things in Life

The simple things in life are free
But why can’t they be for me
The hopes in life are simple things
For me is all that anger brings.

Joining others in that life
to release the hatred and the strife
Take the risk and suffer the deeds
the help from others to support my needs.

The simple things in life aren’t free
Pain and distress are for all to see
The quest for change has now begun
It’s time for me to have some fun.

6 July 1994


Hell is torture
Hell is a vice
Hell is certainly
not very nice.

The classical view
is dependent on you
To see it as brimstone,
or see it as ice.

The heat that surrounds
cutting flesh to the pound
the skin peeling sounds
crawling ants are abound.

13 July 1994

The Lost

Everything is lost
Only anger remains
High replacement cost
Very difficult gains.

Generality prevails
Stark decision
Thinly veils
verbal derision.

Emotions are lost
Head in the sand
Dreadful cost
for somebody’s hand.

Depth disappears
Solidity refrains
Left are my fears
and energy drains.

Identity lost
Nothing remains.

20 July 1994

A Poem

A poem I shall write
to get things off my chest
But will it take all night?
I can but try my best.

The subject matter be
I know not at this time
The reader waits to see
if I succeed in rhyme.

A poem I shall write
while suffering a cold
I shade my eyes from light
and really feel quite old.

A poem I shall write
this dark and dismal morn’
My brain has taken flight
Survival ‘til the dawn?

The words are flowing now
This new departure be
Real big change and how!
Gigantic one for me.

A poem I shall write
This time it’s 4 a.m.
The words have taken fright
‘Cause I’m in charge of them.

The end is now in sight
at this the seventh verse
A poem I did write
I hope it’s not too terse.

15 July 1994

Missing the Boat

The journey both long and fraught
Will all the stages be caught
Last night I set the alarm
Didn’t go off, be calm.

First the bus, then the train
My God, it’s started to rain.
Points failure is all I need
if my journey’s to succeed.

The harbour’s now in sight
The boat’s gone, what a fright.
Cases drop down by my side
Need for somewhere I can hide.

3 August 1994

In the Eye of the Storm

an eerie silence befell
was it heaven or was it hell?
the winds had dropped
the rain with it stopped
All in the eye of the storm.

fallen houses like cards
glass broken into shards
trees bent to the ground
destruction abound
All in the eye of the storm.

10 August 1994


beginnings new
direction changes
choices few

thoughts clouded
emotions drained
anger shrouded

relations ending
feelings maimed
independent fending

anger rages
words unheeded
brick wall cages
sympathy needed.

17 August 1994


Single in direction
Impossible to reverse
Life in dissection
All very perverse

New beginnings and new times
New thoughts to endure
To follow new lines
Emotions are pure

Time is in flux
Changes are rife
Coming to terms with
The loss of my wife

7 September 1994

Ode to Kate

For us began this winter season
A quest for light and faith and reason
For pastures new we look ahead
The road laid out for us to tread

Affection and abuse misread
Melting into hate instead
Dispersing anger and the rages
Escaping from our brick wall cages

Our paths have started to entwine
Hopes continue to refine
Commonalities discovered abound
(a new soul mate found?)

The pain and grief that rocked our past
is almost gone (whew, at last!)
Life presents a taxing journey
The answer lies in Spirituality

19 December 1994

Conspiracy of Doubt

Seeds of doubt are ever growing
Choice is right? (and never knowing)
Expectations collapse around my ears
Serving only to enhance my fears.

Surface bravery, attempt to conceal
multitudinous layers starting to peel
My self worth is rapidly going
leaving only the raw bits showing.

Placed importance, investment in others
Allowing them inside insidiously smothers
Given false senses of security
Maintaining feelings of immaturity.

From others a conspiracy of lies
Spawning vulnerability that never dies
Disappointment into anger deforming
Very twisted thoughts start reforming.

What do I do to become whole?
to get in touch with my soul.
What the Hell do I have to do?
as my rebirth is way long overdue.

I try real hard and try my best
thwarted every turn. SOD THE REST.

29 December 1994